Rodney & Bob's Silly Stories
Rodney
Rodney the cat, is very affectionate, extremely fluffy and rather plump.
His nick name ‘FB’ alludes to his general all round pluffiness [adj: of plump and fluffy appearance].
Rodney attributes his rather plump physic to his love of soy ice cream, not helped by the fact that he lives in an old ice cream van with his two best friends Barry and Dave.
Living in an old converted ice cream van means he can eat as much soy ice cream as he can fit in his bulbous belly. He is rather partial to Green Banana Beetroot Swirl but his absolute favourite is Blue Irish Moosh Whoosh with saltwater sprinkles.
Rodney is fascinated by the moon and the stars, a hobby he shares with his friend Bob, and likes to imagine he is an astronaut piloting a rocket ship to the moon. Rodney has indeed started to build his own rocket ship out of an old metal rubbish bin he found abandoned behind the bingo hall on the high street. Barry suggested perhaps the rubbish bin had in fact not been abandoned but instead been left out so that the rubbish could be collected. This suggestion was immediately dismissed by Rodney who failed to see why someone would leave it outside if they wanted to keep it. Barry later returned to the bingo hall and slipped a note of apology and some money to buy a replacement bin under the door.
Bob
Bob is a yeti, now when we think of a ‘yeti’ the image of a large furry ape like creature might spring to mind, this creature would be the better known North American Sasquatch nicknamed ‘Big Foot’ and not to be confused with Bob.
Bob, he is more like ‘Little Foot’ and he does indeed have tiny feet compared to the rest of him. He’s actually about the same size as a average sized cat (if there is such a thing!) though sometimes can appear bigger because of his wonderfully thick fur coat which keeps him warm at night.
Bob loves nothing more than gazing up at the night sky until the early hours while munching away on home baked sweet and crunchy blackberry crumble washed down with a freshly brewed cup of steaming hot nettle tea.
Bob can be a little on the shy side at times, so is not often seen out and about without his new best buddy Rodney. Bob met Rodney under a bush whilst foraging for blackberries. They hit it off straight away as they both have a rather mischievous sense of humour, which sometimes gets them into trouble but more often leads to some fun adventures and lots of giggles.
Barry & Dave
Barry and Dave are identical twins, although you wouldn’t know it to look at them.
They live in an old converted ice cream van with a rather plump and fluffy cat, called Rodney.
Dave is nearly 10 3/4 cms taller than Barry, a fact he is rather proud of and keen not to let Barry forget.
However Barry maintains that without Dave’s signature teal coloured Mohican hairstyle and chunky platform boots, they are indeed the exact same height.
Barry
Barry is for want of a better term a ‘silent activist’. You will not find him holding a handmade placard with a punchy slogan emblazon across it or shouting “What do we want?” while marching down the centre of the street during morning rush hour.
Barry prefers to rescue caged furry and feathered friends, mainly chickens and bunny rabbits, liberating them from their tiny cages and relocating them to a place of sanctuary in a secret location. He’s a kind of stealth activist that descends quickly and quietly like thick winter fog but then just as suddenly is gone.
Although having said that, there was one occasion when Rodney stepped on a switch, accidentally activating the old ice cream van’s jingle at exactly the wrong moment and almost blew their cover. Luckily the security guard was rather partial to an ice cream, especially on a hot summers evening like that night, so they just about got away with it thanks to some quick thinking by Dave.
Barry is good at mending things and has now deactivated the vans chimes as well as converting it to run on fermented grass clipping juice. Handy really as he offers to cut grass in exchange for keeping the grass clippings, plus two glasses of home-made lemonade for himself and his brother Dave. After all it’s thirsty work and depending on the size of the lawn and the generosity of it’s owner some balls of brightly coloured yarn are always a welcome bonus.
This yarn is for knitting bobble hats, Barry is never seen without his hat. In fact nobody is quite sure what colour Barry’s hair is because he is always wearing a bobble hat, even when he’s sleeping or the sun is shining.
Dave
Dave shares Rodney’s passion for soy ice cream and has developed an alchemistic flair for creating sublime, frozen, vegan treats. This of course requires him to taste test each and every creation, an activity eagerly supported by Rodney who avails himself as a willing participant every time Dave whizzes up one his weird and wonderful combinations in the vans old whippy equipment.
Dave is a quietly creative, gentle soul, often deep in thought which can come across as aloof but usually his mind is elsewhere on other things, just floating along in amongst the clouds like a breeze blowing through the long meadow grass on a spring day.
When Dave isn’t mixing up magical frozen desserts or drifting in daydream park, you can find him under a tree somewhere with his head buried in a book. He loves to read picture books, he knows they are written for children but he just loves their poetic and imaginative nature and his creative soul appreciates the vivid illustrations that adorn every page.
He likes to imagine he himself will have his own picture book published one day and scribbles down short stories and doodles illustrations in his diary, usually relaying the mischievous antics and adventures of Rodney and Bob.
New Silly Stories featuring Rodney & Bob every month.
Landing next month ~ Rodney’s Rocket Ship Part 1.
